Today on my light rail commute I was reflecting on what it means to live in balance. Actually, let me rewind to a earlier events that set my thoughts in motion. For the past few years I have let my hair return to its natural color - gray. I am 41, but my hair wants people to think I am more "distinguished." I've worn my hair up in a bun or clip for years, but I finally went and got a decent hair cut and have been wearing it down for the past couple of weeks. The result is that I have received some compliments - which seemed genuine and made me feel good. It is always nice to receive a compliment, especially about something one is unsure or insecure about. I have been insecure about my hair for some time not because I think it looks bad, but rather I know it is not what is expected of me, a woman of 41. I don't think I know any other women my age or younger who don't dye their hair (if I do - please remind me because then I will feel we are kindred spirits). Oh, did I mention that I don't wear any makeup or get my nails done? Right, there is that too. Between the hair, nails, and "face" I'm an anomaly. But here is the thing - I feel content and even pleased with my appearance when I am among those I love - it is the world, the workplace, the stores, the television, the social pressures that make me feel incomplete, inadequate, or less of a woman. It is absolutely absurd I have told myself many times, but that doesn't change the fact that when I see a well-put-together woman with highlights, nails, face...I just don't measure up. But why do we do this to ourselves? Well there is money to be made and it has to be made. We must be made to feel incomplete so that we buy the things that are sold for that purpose. Of course we could live completely happy and even liberated existences without these absurd demands on our time and money - but then money wouldn't be made by the people that need to make the money. Also, the stuff wouldn't be purchased and, well, we all know what that means - there would be stuff to buy.
Or are we living in a hyper-reality that is not of our own making or choice? What if we just decided, as I have decided, to just not buy that stuff? What if we defined ourselves as perfect as we are? What if we didn't agree with the mythology of advertising? What items do you purchase because it is what is expected of you? Are you sure that the $5/bottle of shampoo works better than the $1/bottle of shampoo? Soap? Razors? Cleaning supplies....the list is practically endless. And this is how I started thinking about living life "in balance." What is balance other than walking the fine line between expectations and freedom while following your bliss? Because I also realized something else...pretty much all addictive behavior from overeating to opioid addiction is a result of living out of balance. If you aren't being true to you, if you don't know who you are, what you want, and where you're going - it is likely that you are living someone else's life (the life that others expect you to live). Our challenge as humans is to discover for ourselves what it means to live our own lives, to define our boundaries, and to find our balance.
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