RVegan Friendsgiving & Buy Nothing Day

I don't know exactly how many years we have had Friendsgiving feasts...but at least 15 and maybe as many as 20 years now!  Many of those were vegetarian or vegan.  This year it was WFPB/vegan.

Last year we hosted Thanksgiving for our friends and this year we went to their house.  It was nice to use their beautiful kitchen!  We all contributed to the day, they provided lots of snacks, nuts, & veggies and I made hummus for appetizers.

We arrived around lunch and we ended up breaking our feast into two meals so that we could enjoy it all.  My friend made her delicious portobello mushroom & pistacio soup and I made whole-wheat bread.  We also had a spinach salad with strawberries and rasberries with the first course.  I completely forgot to take a picture of that meal, it was too good and I was looking forward to eating that soup since last year!  After I ate it all I remembered that I forgot to take a picture.


I did, however take some pictures of our second course!

For dinner we made Almond Butter Noodles and Lentils & Rice (Mujadara) with caramelized onions and hummus.  I make two changes to the Lentils & Rice recipe as stated in the above link - I add a cup of chopped celery to the lentils while they boil and I leave out the parsley.  If you think you hate tofu, I would challenge you to try this...When I woke up on Thanksgiving, instead of getting the turkey in the oven I put the tofu in the marinade.  It was able to marinade for almost 10 hours before it was fried and it turned out really well. 













For dessert we had blueberry peach smoothies....this is something I came up with years ago.  It has plant milk, cashews, flax seed, frozen blueberries, frozen peaches, frozen banana and dates in it.  It is a very thick smoothie and it really puts the Vitamix to the test.

It was a fun day, full of excitement...for example, Sister wanted to put her feet in the pool and she ended up falling in and soaking her clothes.  No harm done, she was rescued immediately - but she had to run around in our friend's shirt for a while without any other clothes while hers were in the dryer!  Before that happened we took a walk to the park and my friend's leg was peed on by a neighbor's dog!  Additionally, the kids made art...here is a sample by Sister.  They loved the huge pieces of paper!






In the evening we sat outside by the fire - it was a beautiful evening.  Brother was allowed to sprinkle copper chloride on the fire to change the color.  A very fun day.

I probably don't even have to say this, but today, "Black Friday" we did not shop - actually we observed Buy Nothing Day.  This morning we went for a walk at the Tempe Town Lake, which was very nice and we stayed home the rest of the day.  I got out my guitar for the first time since moving into the Hideout.  I played until my fingers were raw and painful - it was fun.  The kids started making Christmas decorations for the Hideout.  I will post some pictures when they have finished...it's going to be pretty cute and thousands of times more meaningful than anything that can be purchased.  It was a very relaxing couple of days.  I am so thankful for Husband, the kiddos and the life we have together.    

RVegan Refried Beans & Potato, Corn and Jalapeno Soup

I haven't shared any recipes lately, and for the past five days we have eaten for a song and a dance!

I returned to my trusty slow-cooker to make some meals that would last more than one day.  I love making refried beans as recommended by The Pioneer Woman.  As it turns out one of the remaining dry goods I have from the McMansion are pinto beans - an effing lot of them.  For some ungodly reason I bought a huge bag from Costco more than a year ago and despite the seemingly endless number of crock-pots I make, I still have more....I generally cook them a pound at a time which makes me wonder how big was that bag!?! Anyhow, when I cook up a pound of beans that I paid for over a year ago and cook one cup of dried brown rice per night, I can feed my family for three nights.  To supplement the beans & rice we purchase avocados, vegan sour cream, tortillas, chips, salsa and cheese (not for me!).  We make bean burritos and nachos - the kids are crazy about this dinner.  It's too easy!

The other two-night meal we made yesterday is slow-cooker Potato, Corn, & Jalapeno Soup with Whole Wheat Bread.  The picture above is taken soon after I plugged in the pot. At the end of the cooking time you add in some plant milk and mash up some of the potatoes to make it thick and creamy.  In the past I have halved the jalapeno because I was afraid the kids wouldn't eat it, but then it had no kick.  This time I followed the directions and it had kick.  Brother didn't complain at all, but it bothered sister who was a trooper and drank a lot of water between bites and managed to finish her serving two nights in a row!  She is getting a lot better with finishing the food we offer her - at this point she knows the drill.  The Whole Wheat Bread is made in our bread-maker.  We finish 2/3 of the loaf in a night so we make a fresh loaf the second night.  Yesterday I gave 1/3 of the loaf  and some soup to a neighbor who shared food with us in the past.  Technically my bread is not vegan because I use 1/4 cup honey - I could substitute Agave Nectar or Maple Syrup, but I don't.  I don't have a problem with eating a bit of honey in my bread.

These meals are very low cost, though I don't have an exact figure for you.  Tomorrow we will go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving - yes a Whole-Food Plant-Based Thanksgiving.  We have celebrated the holiday with vegetarian or vegan fare with friends for years.  It's become a tradition!  I can't wait to share our menu for that feast...Lots of exciting dishes with tons of flavor!  I will take pictures...Happy Thanksgiving!

Intentional life - Choose your own adventure!

With the exception of tragic occurrences that seems to manifest randomly and without explanation, most people can examine their life and see how their choices led them to the present.  Many years ago I started thinking about how my choices led me to where I was.  Though I didn't really have any particular place I wanted to go, I did have income goals, educational goals (doctorate), family goals (children), and material goals (McMansion).  Husband and I have a history of manifesting change in our lives...we have done it a number of times.

This weekend I considered whether Husband and I were making these lifestyle changes as a result of a "midlife crisis" - it was a concept that was raised in a conversation with a friend.  I've thought about it a bit and started to recap all of the crazy changes we have made in the past.  For example, after working as a probation officer for five years, obtaining my Master's degree and being poised to move up in the organization (also Husband had a very decent programming job during that same time & we were making a combined yearly income of $86,000) - we both quit our jobs to move to a very rural community in the AZ mountains for a job he found that paid $32,000.  At that time we were ready for an adventure, we had goals and the move to rural AZ answered many of them.  Ultimately that move resulted in us earning a combined yearly income of $120,000 after four years. That was the place were were at prior to the McMansion, children, graduate school...

I think my point is that we have taken many risks.  I could go back further...we were married in MI in March of 1997 and we were in the process of moving to AZ in May of 1997 when I had my 21st BD in a dive bar in Mesa, AZ.  It was a crazy adventure, that resulted in us both graduating from ASU with our Bachelor's degrees and starting our professional lives. 

As my mom said recently, "I'm not the person I was back then..." I am not either.  I had different ways of looking at the world at different points in my life, I have mentally and emotionally evolved.  I have adopted new ways of thinking based on my new experiences and interactions and that, in turn, has shaped the new me.  The past me made some good decisions, and many bad ones.  I am building on the good ones with intention and deliberate choices.  I fully expect that my thinking will evolve further and that I will make different choices at later points in my life.  What I think about now is whether 'current me' is setting up 'future me' for success. As I have unburdened and dispossessed myself I have become less sentimental about stuff and can see the potential of not being tied down by it all.  As I generally make healthy choices I can see (or feel) the immediate impact of not making those choices.  As a mom I will tell my kids, "you need to listen to your body," but did I listen to mine?  Not really until recently!  I think I was too distracted by all the crazy going on around me to be quiet enough to hear what was inside. 

My ultimate point is that we do, to a large extent - excluding tragedy - choose our own adventures.  We find ourselves at crossroads all the time and if we step way back we can see that choosing one will close the alternate door and lead us down a particular path.  Choosing for things to remain the same is still a choice.  But if we are suffering, if we are not at peace with our place as a result of our past choices, exploring the other options is the only way to find the life that we imagine is possible. 

Food budget and goals...

So...it's been a question in my mind - how much should a family of four spend on groceries in a month?  I did a bit of research.  The USDA provides a handy resource and you can figure out the budget for your family with the specific ages of your kids at the "thrifty," "low cost," "moderate," or "liberal" budget levels.  For us the range is $574 to $1162.  So that made me feel good about setting our budget at $800/month. 

I should define "groceries" - I am actually including any and all trips to the grocery store and including household products, paper products, alcohol, and dining out.  Our total "grocery" spending was $975 in October - so we didn't make the goal.  We spent approximately $150 on alcohol - expensive, dark, microbrews, and imported beers to be precise.  Teetotalism is in my future - I can't rationalize that habit.   Of the total, $175 was spent at restaurants.  It's disappointing because it seemed like we were doing well, but when you consider the eating out and alcohol - which were indulgences - we could have done better.  I share because we have seriously struggled with this for years - we have always overspent on food.  For us, $975 is actually an improvement.  We still are aiming for a more efficient use of our resources so that we can save our money for travel and adventure! 

Our open-source financial software, GnuCash is awesome and Husband does a very detailed job of keeping track of our spending.  It is easy to run reports to see how we are doing and it is fun to watch our savings grow.  In the past we were always able to put some additional money towards our debt (in excess of our minimum payments), but now I have a portion of my paycheck going to savings.  Our rental income and land contract income goes to the savings and we are keeping our total expenditures to less than $2600 per month (surplus to savings).  We opened a money market checking account after searching the best rates on BankRate, we also put the majority of our savings in CDs for the time being. 

I've been tracking my dietary choices since January of this year (I keep track of my dietary habits each day before bed with an app called Loop Habit Tracker).  It's a good feeling to be making progress and to visually see the progress over time.  Also it is a daily reminder or affirmation to myself that I do make good food choices.  In October I made the following food choices:

• Whole-Food Plant-Based 24/31 days (my ultimate goals is to always eat this way)
• vegetarian 25/31 days (probably ate eggs), 
• dairy free 30/31 days, 
• pescatarian 3/31 days 
• and that leaves 3 days that I ate some kind of meat.  I remember them - my neighbor, who is Filipino made pork spring rolls one day and pork BBQ another day. It was very nice of her to share and I tried some of the grub, which was quite delicious, Husband and the kids enjoyed it too.  Another time we went out to eat with friends at a pizza place - not eating dairy being my highest priority, I opted for a turkey sandwich.  

I had read Mr. Money Mustache before - he is certainly at the extreme end of saving money and living within your means, but he really breaks it down in terms of how to reduce the food budget.  However I get the idea that he does not include alcohol in his food budget calculations - maybe he doesn't drink...but I doubt it.  He may not include household expenses either.  It is worth checking out his philosophy - I agree with him in many ways.  

I hope that breaking the social taboo of silence about our household finances and dietary choices is helpful.  If not, well, it is therapeutic and helpful for me to write about it so that I can bring focus and clarity to my choices going forward!

Friends...

I've mentioned it before, but we really do miss our friends from our old neighborhood.  It was nice for the kids to play with the neighbors and to meet at the park.  It was easy to set up meetings at the community center, at someone's house, or to go for a walk or bike ride.  Since July the kids have not had such close connections with neighborhood friends.

However for the past couple of weeks Brother has been very fortunate to have met a friend and they are two peas in a pod!  I'm not sure who will be more sad, he or I, when the family leaves on Thursday.  The reason I say that is that Brother has a unique personality and interests.  He has never had a best friend or someone that is into the same things as him.  He is eccentric and likes retro video games, he reads a lot - in short, he is a geek like his parents.  For the past couple of weeks I have seen him connect with another boy on that level and it makes me so happy to see them riding bikes, talking, drawing, computing, gaming and otherwise playing.  I've seen him interact with many kids and he enjoys playing with lots of friends, but he has never been on the same wavelength as he is with this little 10-year-old guy.  They are inseparable, they have not fought, they are polite to each other, they invite each other over for dinner each night....it's seriously too cute.  I am sure Brother is going to go through withdrawal without him around.  Also, the little boy is so nice, so well-rounded, polite, and makes great conversation at the dinner table with his travel stories.  I am going to miss him!

Over the weekend both families got together and had dinner - their family has been on the road for 15 months and they have been to every state except Alaska!  They have been to many of the National Parks and monuments and have many stories about their adventures.  It has been so awesome to get to know them a bit and to hear about their travels.  One day I hope to have that sort of experience under our belt!  It makes me so anxious to be on the road!  They shared some of their trials and tribulations of their trailer - which also was comforting - knowing that their family was able to deal with whatever came their way gave me confidence that we will be able to as well.  One big difference between us and them is that her employment is fully online - her husband, like Husband, is retired!  Now, if I can transition to fully online....

Big questions & answers under construction

Who are you?  What do you want?  Where are you going?

As we deal with our myriad worldly crap we were reflecting on how much of a pain it would have been for our kids had we left them with all this stuff.  When my father-in-law died we had to clean out the house.  With the exception of a few boxes and one chest that held pictures most of the rest went to the dump.   Just because we collected leather-bound books does not mean the kids will want to keep & move them around during their adult lives.  That goes for pretty much everything we have.  Unless it has some utility there is really not much reason to keep it.  While pictures are currently my personal exception to this way of thinking, I am not feeling very sentimental about our stuff these days.  I don't miss having it around.

It's ironic that there's anxiety associated with both acquiring and disposing of stuff.  We bought most of the stuff in a state much like this:

"Acquisition Anxiety" by Laura Wacha

When selling things, we stress on whether we are getting the best price - even though any price is actually better than keeping the boxes of stuff!  There is freedom in simplicity.  It is very nice to lighten our load and our clutter as we decide what we actually need in our tiny space.  The toys are a good example.  We started out with way too many toys - it was hard for me to leave them behind.  After being here I realized the kids don't play with many toys and the toys are just clutter.  We've paired it down quite a bit.

Having a simple wardrobe is very nice too.  My work clothes consists of two pair of slacks and 5-6 shirts.  I only teach in-person two days of the week so the combinations of outfits I have available seems to be quite adequate - maybe too many!  I also have a small bin of t-shirts (probably 7-9) and a couple pairs of shorts.  If something is worn out I will replace it, but I will never have more than I currently have (In fact I could probably do with less).  The kids each have one large IKEA bin with their clothes.  Husband was only too happy to ditch his work clothes when he retired - he's comfortable in t-shirts and shorts.  We've gotten rid of many pairs of shoes.  We each have sandals and tennis shoes and I have a pair of comfortable black shoes for work.  

There isn't a person on the globe who actually owns anything - we just borrow stuff temporarily - though many of us go into massive debt to borrow stuff.  We will all die one day and we will be judged by those we leave behind.  They will reflect on the lives we lived, the people and things we valued, and the crap we collected.  Did we lord over a hoard?  What kind of life did we lead?  What did we spend our time on?  What kind of role models were we to our kids?  How did we spend or save our money?  What values did we embody?  It becomes ever more clear to me that we had been living our lives without making conscious decisions about these questions - we just did what everyone else was doing despite the fact that our health (both mentally and physically) was problematic.  

We have both been obese and had indications of the development of chronic diseases (I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and was pre-diabetic).  I have been very aware that my eating habits directly affect my kids'.  Being young and active they are currently healthy - their heights and weights in the perfect zones for their ages - but I know that if they don't develop healthy habits they will suffer as I, and so many in my family have suffered.  Whole Food Plant Based eating has provided us with the answer.  Insofar as we have made a conscious choice to prioritize health we have been very successful in reversing the progression of our own poor health conditions without medication.  We also have kids that are not picky eaters and have diets rich in fruits, vegetables, nuts, beans, legumes, and whole grains.  

Last night we visited friends and we cooked dinner together.  I made Umami Almond Burgers and Wonder Spread.  We had a long conversation about why we have shifted towards WFPB eating and introduced a friend to the concept of food as medicine.  My point is that spending time planning, cooking and eating healthy food is such a more satisfying use of one's time than shopping for stuff to fill the spaces in large house.  It is also satisfying to plan meals, purchase the groceries and use them up - something we used to fail at in the past when we impulse purchased food and subsequently wasted it.  One of the most clear answers I have to the big questions above is that I am going towards health.  With a focus on health for myself and the family, other decisions are clear.  

Contentment

“If one’s life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is extremely important for happiness. Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital: satisfaction with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect yourself from the elements.” -The Dalai Lama 1935

After considering keeping our Ford Fiesta, but never taking the listing off of Craigslist, we got a call yesterday that resulted in its sale!  I immediately felt lighter and less burdened by the responsibility of owning that vehicle.  It's a crazy feeling - one that I look forward to & value each time we dispossess something.  I'm actually quite pleased that this feeling continues, and is heightened, by being less possessed.  I certainly felt a wave of relief and satisfaction when we sold the house, but the feelings associated with living in this state of contentment as we continue to sell off personal properly is surprising.

 As I shed possessions I recognize a side effect is that I have shed the desire to be self-indulgent.  There seems to be a link between all my stuff and stuffing myself.  Though I had heard that food cravings for fat, sugar, and salt would disappear over time with a proper, healthful diet, I had never before experienced it until now.  Though I had, in the past, tried very hard to get to a point free of cravings, I realize now that it is not something to work at, but rather a state of mind that one can cultivate.  The best way to sum up the state of mind is one of contentment and thankfulness.  In this state, healthful food is what I want and I am am thankful to have the time and energy to plan and prepare the meals.

I was raised in the Lutheran faith (attending a Lutheran school from Kindergarten through 8th grade). Jesus, like the holy men in many faiths, practiced asceticism.  Indeed Jesus told a man seeking advice on how to live a good life, "“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Matthew 19:21), the man left discouraged because he was wealthy.  Then Jesus told his disciples, " “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 19: 23-24).

I am not a particularly religious person at this point in my life, but this story has bounced around in my head since childhood.  Perhaps I now have a very elementary experiential knowledge of the truth of the story if one reflects that Jesus also said, "“The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:20-21)  So in order to enter the kingdom of God - that elusive holy space that has hitherto been reserved for the most devout, and demonstrated by Thích Quảng Đức  in this photo,

we must be dispossessed.  It is the mandate of the sacred traditions and seems the missing piece in our culture which is terribly out of balance. (Don't get me started on all the other things this amazing act of protest represents...)

I certainly am not preaching - for I, like you, am just trying to navigate this life as well as I am able.  But these insights have been swirling around in my mind and I wanted to share them.  I recently have been feeling differently and I am experiencing the world differently.  I feel more peaceful, less stressed, more centered, and less anxious.  I can only share my feelings and try to interpret these new feelings through my prism of experience.


I believe, as I have shared with many of my friends, that I am not a fan of anything that divides us or defines us into arbitrary categories.  We are all in this together - as humans we have the same biological and emotional needs and we all have the same questions.  Another truth I have internalized from my Lutheran upbringing is that God is Love - Jesus said we should love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:31) to me that is a mandate for tolerance, compassion, and love for our fellow humans. 

Ok, this post is getting heavy!  And all because we sold a car!  HA!  It's crazy how something small can send you down the rabbit hole...

Food storage / hanging basket upgrade...

My mom and dad sent this hanging basket to me soon after we got the Hideout and I can't tell you how much we've come to rely on it for fresh food storage!

The problem with it was that the chain was too flimsy for the weight I pack in there!  I need it to hold lots of onions, fresh fruit and bread!  Many times it has fallen apart and dumped the produce all over the floor.  So, finally I went to Home Depot and investigated chain!

I bought this stuff - it is much more sturdy!  So the chain is replaced and it can really hold a lot!

With such limited space we have to maximize every nook and cranny!

"The Season" in Tempe

Well we moved to our new spot this month.  The move went very smoothly - we only had to drive around the pool!  Our new spot costs $538/month - we save $82/month compared to our past spot.  The space/pad is slightly smaller, but our rig is smaller than many in the park.  Another family we have befriended has a fifth wheel trailer that weighs 24,000 lbs and is around 35 feet!  We are at 6,500 lbs and 29 feet.

No neighbors on either side

On the plus side we have a very short walk to the trash!

Orange trees behind us!

Over the past month we have been dealing with a leak under our kitchen sink.  The thing that was so frustrating was that we could not identify where the water was coming from for the longest time.  I actually think the leak has been there since we bought the Hideout it's just gotten worse over time.  We would wake in the morning and there would be a puddle.  We would dry it and check it all day and no new water.  We thought it was condensation because the weather is getting much cooler at night - but eventually the amount of water was too much to be explained by condensation.  Finally Husband connected our use of the water heater to the puddle.  It turns out that we would turn on the water heater in the evening to bathe the kids and leave it on overnight so I could shower before work then we would turn it off during the day.  Every time we would turn it on the change in pressure would force water out.  When we figured that out then we were able to look for the offending connection.  We considered taking the Hideout to the dealer since it is under warranty, but the whole prospect of taking it in and not knowing how long we would be without it just was too overwhelming.  In the end Husband found the problem and did some plumbing to save us the hassle of taking it in.  However going through the thought experiment of taking it in has been beneficial since we know we do have warranty work that needs to be done prior to June 2018 (when our year warranty is up).  ....always so many things to consider.

On another note, we still have not sold our Fiesta, but we haven't been trying too hard.  We rejected an offer that seemed too low and since then I have had a change of heart about selling it.  It's such cheap transportation and since we are the original owners we know about it's history.  We really don't need three vehicles, but at some point one of the small vehicles will need a repair not worth completing and when that time comes we can use the other one.  In the meantime we have been able to park our third vehicle at a friend's house as only two are allowed here.  With all the other changes we drive a lot less - less miles, less wear and tear.  We could probably make our current vehicles last two to four more years before we have to buy something.  I am feeling like that is the right thing to do.  Why spend money we don't have to?  So far they are reliable, though the mileage is climbing on both.  I think we have nearly 140,000 miles on the Yaris and 95,000 on the Fiesta.  The only question is where we will park two vehicles over the summer.?  We have a spot for one, but not the other.

Finally, I want to say that I love my job teaching undergraduate students.  I thought it would be great and it is.  I was offered the opportunity to teach online classes over the summer (maybe two) and I will probably do that for one of the two summer sessions - the pay is good and they are classes I have already taught...I think it it will be manageable as long as I can figure out how to ensure reliable internet over the summer during our travels.  It's good to have a little extra cash in the budget for traveling as well!

El Dia de los Muertos

In Mexico and in other Spanish-speaking cultures the Dia de los Muertos is a day to celebrate with the dead.  It takes place on November 2 each year.  It is a day of festivities, food, games, and costumes.  It is thought that the dead celebrate with the community and by all accounts it is a fun and upbeat event.

We remembered a friend yesterday quite by accident - it was strange that Husband decided to Google him after so many years apart, but he was thinking about our wedding and William was our best man.  It turns out that he died seven years ago - under what circumstances we don't know.  He was 30.  

Here he is at our wedding in 1997.  He lived and died in Flint, MI - a harsh environment that many Americans would hardly recognize as The Land of Opportunity.  William's mother died when he was very young, he was raised by his grandparents who lived in Husband's neighborhood.  William's father was a crazy character who would entertain you with stories for hours about his reckless and dangerous life.  He was not a good father.  William lived a tough life in one of the poorest places in the US.  The last time we visited him in Flint was mid-2000s.  He was living with his girlfriend and their children.  A rodent had died in the wall of his rental home and the decay smell was thick in the air.  It was the winter and the house didn't hold heat well.  The children were carefree and happy.  Our interaction was strained - I was uncomfortably out of my element. We felt pity for William and his family and it was not welcome.  We gave the family a gift as it was near Christmas, but it was awkward.  We lived in AZ and had graduated college.  We were pursuing our professional lives and had no children.  William's identity was tied up with Flint and all that entailed.  It was obvious paths had diverged.  Some time after that visit William called Husband.  The last thing he said to Husband was "I love you."  A strange thing considering he had never said that before, nor had Husband expressed such sentiments to him.  They had been buddies who partied and hung out in that city of squalor.  They were close and they had been through shit together.  That was the last time we heard from him - it was nearly 10 years ago.  We didn't know he died until El Dia de los Muertos.  

It's sad - despite the fact we had drifted apart.  We wished him well and certainly hoped for his happiness.  We are not the people we once were.  Change is inevitable, but it still sucks - I wonder about his kids...I wonder why and how?  Another sad footnote to the story of Flint.  

RIP William.